When it comes to children and haircare, always remember that children are all unique and different and therefore their hair care needs to be customized to suit each individual child.
While some children may enjoy the haircare and grooming process, quite a lot of them don’t and these are some of the reasons why:
The hair handler is not gentle
It takes too long, and they get impatient and want to go and play!
They have tender scalps and find it painful
They have had negative experiences with their hair in the past
They just don’t like having their heads touched!
I highly recommend that you do not use chemicals on children, particularly those below the age of 12 years. These treatments can cause damage to the hair and scalp such as hair breakage or chemical burns on the scalp especially if the chemical treatments are done incorrectly.
When it comes to hair-care and grooming, children require different approaches. There are, however, basic things to consider as you put together a hair-care regimen for your child. These are as follows:
A child’s age - For babies and toddlers keep it very simple. How you approach a baby’s haircare and styling would differ from that of a teenager.
Consider a child’s activities – during swimming season it makes more sense to style their hair in cornrows and mabhanzi vs braids which can be heavy when they take in water or difficult for the child to wear a swimming cap. For a toddler at creche or preschool, simple styles that are easy to take down and cleanse the hair when needed are best. They usually don’t have time for long drawn regimens and need their little scalps cleansed often as they tend to get all sorts of things like sand in their hair!
A child’s hair type, texture, and density – For example, it is easier to work with softer, medium textured, medium, or low-density hair unlike coarser textured, wiry, high-density thick hair. Heavy braided styles on children with fine hair will likely lead to hair breakage and styles that don’t last. Never criticize a child’s hair type of texture particularly within their hearing. It can damage their self-confidence irreversibly sometimes. Embrace your child’s uniqueness.
Childs preferences – Get cues from your child about what works for them or what they like or can tolerate. When they ask for simple styles that don’t take long, please indulge them. You don’t want them to associate hair care with pain or an unpleasant experience. Use hair grooming as an opportunity to bond with your child. However, if whatever they like is not practical, wise or sustainable, mum always has the final say!
Involve the children in their care when their old enough - Early education is key to a healthy enjoyable relationship with their hair. Teach them the basic skills of shampooing conditioning and moisturizing. Always keep it simple. It is also a fun way of bonding with your child.
Get the right tools
- For naturals, a good wide-toothed comb, detangling brush, hair separators or alligator clips, soft towels, satin bonnets, or silk scarves are very useful. Also get as simple wash set combo that consists of a shampoo, conditioner, leave-in conditioner or lotion, a light oil/butter, or pomade for the hair. Cover hair at night with satin/silk bonnet, scarf at night to preserve hair and hairstyle or use a satin pillowcase
Be sure that your child is in a comfortable position when you are doing their hair.
Find something to keep your child occupied while you are doing their hair. This could be a TV programme they enjoy, colouring or a game on a gadget etc.
Be patient with your child - When you are feeling angry, tired, or frustrated, take a break! Having both mother and child frustrated does not work! Remember you don’t want to instill a culture of hair care as a bad experience.
Simple steps when doing your daughters hair
1) The Process - It always helps to do the hair in small stages rather than do everything, detangling, shampooing, conditioning, moisturizing, and styling in one go, particularly with younger children or if your child had coarse, dense hair.
This is even more so if the child has a previous hairstyle that needs to be undone. You can start off with the undo and detangling in one day then put the hair away in twists or braids using just their hair if it is long enough.
You can follow up with the wash, conditioning and moisturizing, and the hairstyle at a later time. This depends on your child’s age or how long it will take to style (remember to consider your child’s tolerance levels and hair characteristics).
2) Detangling- Avoid detangling dry hair as this can lead to discomfort for your daughter and hair breakage. Use warm water in a spray bottle to make the hair damp. Follow up with an oil of choice or a simple rinse out conditioner to lubricate the strands and give some slip. This will make detangling easier and reduce breakage.
Start by detangling gently with fingers first. You can then follow up with a wide-toothed comb or detangling brush always starting at the ends or tips of the hair and working your way down. Never force a comb or brush through where it won’t budge. It is better to stop and try and loosen more with your fingers. Being forceful will not only lead to breakage but also cause discomfort and pain for your daughter. Detangle the hair in sections (the number will depend on the length of your daughter’s hair and density. On average 6 sections is good) Make sure you control the hair by holding the section below your detangling point with your free hand. This also reduces any pulling of the hair on the scalp. Lightly braid or twist each detangled section as you prepare to wash the hair.
3) Shampooing – Thoroughly wet/saturate the hair with warm water then proceed to put shampoo on the scalp and start working the shampoo into the hair. Use a rubbing motion on the scalp to help lift us the product build-up and dirt from the scalp.
Don’t worry if the shampoo does not seem to lather, this is very common with the first wash as the shampoo will be working to lift the dirt. Use gentle strokes to work the shampoo into the hair. You can wash the hair in braided sections if you so wish particularly for girls with high-density hair.
Rinse out the shampoo and do a second wash with the shampoo. This time you are likely to notice much more lathering as most of the dirt and product build-up has been removed. Repeat as in the first wash and rinse thoroughly. Leaving any product in the hair can lead to allergic reactions for some.
4) Conditioning – Always follow shampooing with conditioning. While shampoo removes the dirt from the hair, the conditioner will soften the hair and replenish the hair with oils while sealing in moisture. Shampoo lifts the hair cuticle to allow the shampoo to enter and clean. The conditioner brings the cuticle back down sealing in moisture while also improving manageability and feel of the hair.
Always follow the manufacturer’s instructions when it comes to products. Check how much time the directions say you need leave the conditioner on. Typically rinse out conditioners are left on for a few minutes then rinsed out depending on the product. Rinse out the conditioner thoroughly. Gently towel dry the hair. Deep conditioners will be left on for longer normally ranging from about 10 to 30 minutes depending on product. Try and deep condition your daughter’s hair once to twice a month for an extra boost of moisture!
5) Leave in conditioner – Follow up with a water-based leave-in conditioner or hair lotion. You may need to try a few to find the one that works well on your daughter’s hair. Work in sections and twist or braid them up as you do each section. This will keep the hair moisturized and keep it from tangling and knotting. It will also help if you need to stretch the hair for styling.
You may follow up with a light oil, butter or pomade to further seal in the moisture. Be very light handed with these as too much may weigh the hair down and attract dirt especially for active little girls!
6) Putting the hair in twists, plaits, mabhanzi or bantu knots is always a great idea as it helps to stretch out the hair naturally for styling while also protecting the hair from knots and tangles.
7) Drying - After adding leave-in and/or oils and butters twist or braid each section and allow to air dry. This helps to stretch the hair and prep the hair for styling. It is a great idea to do the shampooing in the morning to allow the hair to dry before sleeping unless you are using a blow dryer. Avoid using a hairdryer frequently on the hair at it can lead to damage or breakage and always use a heat protectant and low heat.
8) Trimming - Check the ends of your daughter’s hair to see if they need trimming. They usually do when the look and feel rough and the hair knots easily. Trim your daughter ends as needed.
9) Styling - Choose simple, child-appropriate styles that are not tight (this often leads to scalp inflammation and hair loss). Cornrows, mabhanzi, braids, etc are not protective if they will damage your daughter’s hair in the long run! Also, choose styles that are easy to maintain.
10) There is no need to oil the scalp unless your daughter has a scalp problem such as eczema, psoriasis, or dry scalp in which appropriate scalp treatments, creams, ointments, lotions, or oils may be applied.
If you need to oil the scalp, start with water to refresh the scalp before oiling it. Scalp lotions are also available. If you choose to use oils on the scalp do wash the hair frequently to avoid clogging of pores and product build-up which could cause irritation and inflammation on the scalp.
Regularly washing your child’s hair will improve the appearance, feel, manageability and hydration levels of the hair over time. It will also help them get into a routine that can help them as they grow and in their adult lives. Simple steps, detangle, shampoo, condition, moisturise, style, and repeat!
Remember, keep it simple and fun, our natural afro textured hair is beautiful and does not need to be a chore. Like anything in life, once you learn the skills and how to handle it, it will be a breeze. Patience is key!
Article by Shingai Ziki
Natural Hair Consultant/ Qualified Hairdresser/Salon Owner- Afrokink Zim/Trichology Scholar
Programme Management/Education/Media & Communications Specialist
Thanks Shingai. Learnt a lot.