“The workforce needs a human face; not the metallic, robotic, and cold environment that it is now.” Janet Sibanda.
Many years ago, when I was a practicing lawyer, I had to leave a job that I loved and enjoyed, not because I had found a better opportunity or because I was moving up the corporate ladder. I left because at 5 months of my first pregnancy my mother died. Having lost her at such a vulnerable time I needed a little extra support from my employer but alas there were no contractual or legal frameworks to support this.
Needless to say, I had to quickly bury my mother and get back to work – bearing my heavy pregnancy and grieving heart. Though I was physically present at work until the very last minute, going to work on up to Friday, the 14th of May and giving birth on Monday, the 17th of May, I was not as effective or productive as I and my employer needed me to be. My employer did not see my plight because it was not clearly spelt out in black and white and I had no precedents to rely upon in order to make a case for my situation and it’s impact on my profession.
Going back to work after that experience, I no longer had the same excitement and enthusiasm that I had entered the profession with. I felt more and more pressure to prove my worth considering that I was falling behind by three months AND I was leaving the office an hour earlier than everyone to get back to the other role of motherhood and breastfeeding.
Meanwhile, my targets remained unadjusted and unmet, my desk continued to pile up with the workload and I began to feel exhausted, overwhelmed and utterly inadequate. There was no support, no room for excuses, no legislative reprieve and so I had no choice but to continue with the toiling and precarious balancing act. I suffered in silence because speaking up about the strain would signal weakness and potential dethroning from my little throne in the grand scheme of things.
The bro culture was so much clearer in that time when I felt like my femininity and maternal status where a definite flaw which could not be tolerated or accepted. No one had the time of day to give a care to my equally significant roles at home and work. It fell squarely on me to make sure that I figured it out and made it all work and work FLAWLESSLY! My male counterparts remained unaware and unaffected because nothing was getting in the way of their work, those with families had their wives, mothers, sisters, helpers stepping in to make sure that the men in their lives could get on with the hunting and gathering unhindered. For the female workers it was not so, it has remained uneven even till now, decades later.
The move that I made was then forced by the circumstances of not being able to keep up and not seeing any reprieve in sight. It was a case of if you cannot stand the heat get out of the kitchen, so get out of the scorching kitchen is what I did. There was no way that I was going to last after a couple of more children, breaks from maternity leave, breastfeeding hours, vaccinations/immunizations, occasional illness, school run and all the countless roles of motherhood.
This experience and many more made me realize that the world of work has remained the domain of men exclusively from the demands on performance to the inconsiderate working hours and physical presence.
Hopefully the experience of working from home during the pandemic has made everyone realise and appreciate just how much women in general and working mothers in particular have on their plate. The overwhelm is real and it is not a sign of weakness, incompetence or inability. It is time that, as we consider the new normal and re-craft our work structures, we also need to allow the consideration of how personal situations can affect the role of the employee. We need to bring the human element to the forefront in employment as we are doing in customer service. The people toiling for the brand, the bottom line and the status of the company need to be recognized and supported accordingly. Companies do not have to wait for laws to define how this will be, proactive and quick responses are needed right now.
Contracts of employment, codes of conduct, HR policies should take into account the differences
between men and women and the imbalances that currently exist which discriminate against women, working mothers especially. We need ways to ensure that every employee thrives in the workplace and will not be forced to leave a job that they enjoy and love because of having to choose between that and raising their precious children which is in itself a critical role in community and nation building.
Laws are generally reactive and responsive to society’s evolving needs and patterns and rarely preventative or proactive. It is high time this matter be given the consideration that it rightly deserves. Being a woman who chooses to give birth to and raise children should never be seen as a setback to career growth and development. Every structure must support not undermine this crucial decision. After all studies have shown that companies that have balanced representation of men and women and more so those that support working mothers have been known to be highly productive and progressive.
On the upside these challenges in some way actually led me to the road that I am on now. I sometimes wonder whether if I had been treated as well as I needed and wanted would I still be foraging in the legal fraternity going from court to court and tribunal to tribunal spending most of my time buried in the statutes, contracts, legal documents?
I suppose in a way that experience and many more like it led me a point of reflection, rediscovery and reinvention that allowed me to shape a working lifestyle that suited me and my special and unique needs. It also allowed me to be my own rescue and to focus only on the people and things that led me to flourish and soar without feeling guilty about my passion for promoting my family life while doing what I do best.
No more having to carry around the weight of meeting targets with little or no appreciation for what I was giving up and putting in. Or being compelled to work around intrusive and insensitive timetables that did not concern themselves with the fact that being physically at work while mind and soul are elsewhere will always prove to be counterproductive. Thankfully I now find myself in a better place but I know that is not the case for many mums and it may not be possible for a long time to come. Something has definitely got to give because a working mother is so worthy and the world is worse off without what we have to give.
Written By @Edith Utete
Well done Edith, this is a great sacrifice for all women. The world will one day learn. Comment from our reader Slevy
Thanks Edith. You reminded me of a lady boss who denied me breastfeeding hour... Sometimes our female counterparts fight against our cause.
There is no shame in being a professional and also being a parent and wanting to be a good one. We should have our cake and eat it.