My name is Sihle Nyashanu and I am a mum to 2 boys affected by autism. The elder one (17) is more of a high functioning autistic child whilst the younger one (13) is on the severe end of the spectrum. Autism Spectrum Disorder (AS) ranges from those who are mildly affected to those who are severely affected. What this basically means is that those who are mild or high functioning as my eldest have fewer challenges as compared to those who are moderate or severe in all aspects of their life. It is also worth noting that AS is a lifelong condition and caregivers or parents of those affected will need to be aware of this and adequately prepare for the emotional and financial roller coaster.
My journey with the boys has been full of action, to say the least. I had to make a lot of changes and make a lot of discoveries about myself. The most important lesson I have learnt, is the importance of rehabilitation support for my boys. Without assistance from all the therapists and other professionals I have worked with, my boys would not be where they are right now.
My eldest has just finished writing his ‘O’ level and this is a HUGE milestone for us as a family! He loved going to school and he was coping well. Through assistance from the Psychologists who did his Educational Psychological Assessments, we agreed with the school that he takes up fewer subjects than his peers. This worked so well for him and us as a family. The school made arrangements for him to get extra help in Maths and English when his peers were engaged in other subjects that he was not doing. It was quite a journey for us to get a diagnosis for him as we got a diagnosis of Learning Disabilities initially. Then about 3 years later a diagnosis of Autism. He still receives help from his Psychologist and Occupational Therapist to help him cope in different aspects of his life.
The younger one has been home-schooled since 2015 and we have seen tremendous developments due to the one on one assistance he receives. Since 2015 the milestones reached include bathing, dressing, applying lotion (though he has his days when he doesn’t feel like it), following instructions, and shopping etiquette. On the academic front, he is now able to identify basic shapes, rote count [is the simplest number concept that children develop, and it merely consists of counting numbers sequentially (KNILT)] to 10 and have introduced reading the Sunrise Series and other random Grade 1 books, late 2019. He has Applied Behavioural Analysis (ABA) Therapists helping him as well as Speech Therapy and Occupational Therapy. ABA Therapy is a type of therapy that can improve social, communication, and learning skills through positive reinforcement (Healthline).
We had quite a challenge in terms of getting my son's diagnosis from the numerous doctors we visited, until we visited one Paediatrician who referred us to take him to South Africa. Our journey for an assessment resulted in him being enrolled at an autism-specific school in Johannesburg. That meant leaving half of my family here in Zimbabwe whilst we sought help for him there. This also resulted in me changing my profession altogether. I am now a qualified Special Education Teacher and currently doing my Master’s in Special Education. I have a special interest in Intellectual Disabilities. Hopefully, God willing we will be able to open our doors in this coming year, of a centre catering for those affected by autism.
My experiences as a special needs mum led me to form psycho-social support groups for caregivers of children with Special needs, through a Private Voluntary Organisation called Safe Haven Zimbabwe. In the Support Groups, parents are equipped to care and support their children, by differently trained professionals.
My encouragement for parents with special needs children is to, first of all, accept the uniqueness of your child then look for ways to try and teach your child. Rehabilitation support is crucial as you get guidance on what to do with your child so that they reach their potential. We parents are the greatest therapists and teachers of our children since we spend most of the time with them. I have also learnt to also trust my instincts when it comes to trying new things. I have resolved that I don't want a life filled with dai ndakadai ('If Only'). If it’s something within my reach I try it out and if it works, well and good. If it doesn't, I gladly close the chapter and never look back. I have also learnt to take each day as it comes. I have learnt not to think too much about the future as that robs me of the joy of today's milestone.
Anyone is interested in joining our special needs parents network please get in touch on +263713596402 or send us an email on safehavenzim@gmail.com. For further information on our activities please do visit our Facebook page.